29.6.15

6 Very Annoying Things About Blogging

Blogging is a right old rollercoaster. Some might even say "a journey". One minute you're putting out ace photos and highly pertinent posts; the next you're losing followers and questioning your very existence. Whilst it's all sunshine, priddy flatlays and shit loads of Instagram likes on the good days, the darker moments where everything bugs the hell out of you also need a little more delving into. So, let's delve.
Time Is The Enemy
Holy Moses, where does the day go? I mean, srsly. I get up at 6.30am but somehow I just never have a minute to do anything. And blogging is nowt if not time-consuming. It just munches time like a fat kid eats cake. If I shoot outside (which I increasingly don't- you guessed it- seem to have time for) I have to plan like a very planny-person to make it happen. And then there's the editing. Uggghh. This is literally the bane of my life. It takes me sooooo long. Admittedly I lack the skillz, but basically one shoot outside = a week of work. I shit you not. Shoot outside on Saturday- post won't be ready until Friday. Gun emoji.
The Best Things In Life Are Free
Coco Chanel once said "the best things in life are free, but the second best are very expensive". To which I can only posthumously reply "yasssss Gabrielle". Dunno about you, but I see a lot of bloggers banging on about how you shouldn't be in blogging for the freebies. What a load of balls. Of course you should be! Personally I rarely get sent anything- and oh my days- you should see things I do get offered. Jesus wept. But you know- I'm not cool, or cute and nobody reads this shit, so I can't- and don't- expect much. Bloggers who whinge on about how companies expect them to do posts "for free" hack me off the most though. Ok, so these girls are mostly full-time and need the dollar. I get it. But I also think they require a teeny perspective check. So, you get sent watches and clothes and make-up and get flown on free trips around the world....and you want paying too? What.The.Fuck. Count yourself lucky and stick a cork in it. 
Perfection Doesn't Exist
Life can look pretty sweet through a lens. And a filter. But perfect girls don't exist. They may look tall and thin and stunning- inside though- trust me, they're evil and have black souls. (Not sure if I need to write lolz now or not). The flip side of this 'perfection dilemma' is...do you reallllly wanna see an un-photoshopped picture of a girl with greasy hair tied-up in a scrunchie? Thought not. *NB I actually like scrunchies, but you get my drift.
Houston We Have A Problem
I have technical 'Reverse Midas Touch'. Literally every bit of techie kit I own dies or breaks or is something I could never work properly in the first place. My laptop is years old, super-slow and does the most random things. It takes me forever to upload any blog pics but, on the upside- it does give me time to paint my nails or do a quick scroll through IG as I wait for it to whir and click. As for iPhones- well- I am your granny. Blogging needs lots of cameras, and memory cards, and remotes and extra bits of storage, and wires, cables and HTML skillz and the list goes on. In my whole time blogging I've learnt piss all about any of it.
You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry
There's a lot of fakeness and insincerity flying around, isn't there? Shitehawking I call it. Like the blogger who just writes 'cute' over and over and over on literally everyone in the whole wide world's IG pics. So, how amazing would it be to just go batshit and say what you really think? Imagine if everyone did that. Just for one day.  
I Don't Care About Clever, I Don't Care About Funny
Illiteracy is, seemingly, highly fashionable. I'm not sure if blogging just attracts spectacularly thick girls who can't even construct sentences, let alone spell, but it sure as hell feels like it. One high-profile blogger- particularly- seems massively adept at brandishing her stupidity. She can't even spell the brands of the items she's gifted correctly. Swear down. You'd think the brands would be pissed off, right? Doesn't seem that way. Sure, fashion blogging is primarily a visual medium. Readers (or perhaps that should more accurately be "viewers") wanna cut to the chase and see those images. And I understand that possibly everyone under the age of twenty one doesn't get the difference between your/you're, his/he's, their/there/they're; so it's not legit to solely beat bloggers with that stick. But not spelling your branded links correctly? Piss off back to school (or at least use spell check FFS) and stop wafting about pretending you're Sincerely Jules.
What narks you most about the big wide world of blogging? Hit me up x PS And please feel free to say "negative bitchy shit like this".
Shoes- Zara//Sunnies- Céline

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22.6.15

The Playsuit And The Gladiator

How do you solve a #firstworldproblem like a temperamental gladiator sandal? Mine are giving me such grief- gravity-wise- that I'm thinking of resorting to sellotape, Blu-Tack and possibly even super glue to get the buggers to stay put. (Remember when Frenchy pierced Sandy's ears in Grease and told her in no uncertain terms that "beauty is pain"? Looks like I'll be embracing that quote all summer long). Even if I can get them to remain tied and in place, my circulation is then thrown into jeopardy. I'm the kinda gal who gets red indentations on my arms from handbags, elaborate sleep-patterns all over her face and bruises like a peach; so even five minutes with a lace tied tightly round my leg induces all sorts of imprints and unfortunate visual lacerations. Anyway. Whining done, stick a fork in me. The playsuit is now in the sale and the glads are so silly-cheap that you should chance your, er, leg with them if you haven't already. And if you've stumbled upon a foolproof method of making them stay hoisted, hit me up up up xx
Playsuit- Zara//Gladiators- Mango

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15.6.15

Leandra's Top

No doubt your eyes went into meltdown when you saw the Great Leader herself- Miss Leandra Medine- in Zara's S/S15 campaign. Somehow I never managed to find her blue and white kaftan top in store (despite the fact that I basically live in Zara and only ever go home to check the place hasn't burned down). But I did pounce on this super-cute check top when I saw it. It's just so fresh and summery- if only we had consistently fresh and summery weather to accompany it. But my fellow Zara-heads beware! Now is the time to call a halt to your M-Repelling purchases because the sale will be imminently upon us and you'll be able to pick it all up for, oooh, ten quid less. See you in queue.
Top- Zara//Shorts- Forever 21

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8.6.15

Birthday Edit

It was my birthday last week (big up the Gemini crew), and I just wanted to share what I got. The great thing about prezzies is that (with any luck/lots of elephantine hints) they are accoutrements that you wouldn't/couldn't buy for yourself. (Dunno about youse, but I seem to spend most of my money on bills bills bills, and then try and make myself feel better by buying lots of things in Zara that I can't afford and end up having to take back). So, what lovely birthday shizzle did I get given? First up- perfume.
Flowerhead by Byredo
I've wanted a Byredo scent for the longest time, but (see above) could never make the leap, money-wise. So I made sure I tested the whole range before eagerly popping this on my wish list. There's tuberose in there (which is priddy much my fave flower), some rose (also j'adore) and lemon notes too. It's heady. It's intense. It lasts all day and it's super amazing. Get yours here.
Also on the Bee-Day hitlist was something Comme Des Garcons. More specifically-
CDG Play
This line of tees, sweatshirts, tops (and Converse) has a deservedly cult following. The iconic heart logo says 'Hi I'm in the Comme club worship my coolness/I'm a dick who spends a lot of money on basics just coz they've got a cute heart with googly eyes on them' (delete as appropriate). Either way I've been lusting for quite some time. I didn't know whether to go for a tee, or a long-sleeved Breton or a green heart or what. Eventually I went classic and very happy I am too. Get yours here. *NB They come up small, I had to go for a medium. Also on my extremely fullsome 'Can I Have It? Please Please Please' list was some make-up, namely-
MAC Honeylove
For a while I've been weighing up whether I'm a Velvet Teddy or a Honeylove kinda gal. If money were no object (again) I'd almost certainly be both (and quite a few other MAC shades too). But for The List I decided to just narrow it down to one, and Honeylove it was. It is the perfect matte texture (as per its rep) and an adorably neutral easy-to-wear beige with a hint of sixties Bardot. Get yours here. All in all I was buzzzzing with my gifts and so grateful to my lovely family who are all the bomb. What's on your birthday wishlist? Lemmie know :) xx PS Many thanks to all those lovely people who really got in the celebratory, generous, kind, warm-hearted birthday spirit and unfollowed me on Instagram. I'm sure I speak for all lovely generous, kind, warm-hearted people (the ones with actual blood running through their veins, not ice) when I say- I hope you die a painful death in the gutter. 
Flowerhead Perfume by Byredo//CDG Play Top by Comme Des Garcons//Honeylove Lippie by MAC
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1.6.15

White Now

If I could wear all white, all Summer then I would be a very happy blanc-er. Unfortunately, I'm extremely accident-prone. Plus, most days I have to fake-tan too- so practicality dictates that a diet of strict whites is off the sartorial menu. But for the purposes of shooting, the palest of shades can take centre-stage. First up- these jeans (I'm on a good roll in H&M lately, dunno about youse). They're skinny, they have rips, and they are supremely comfy. It's a yes (yes yes) from me. And secondly, the shoes. Their sickness cannot be denied. (Well, you could try, but I'd have to hunt you down and...have a word). A fringe on just about anything gives me heart eyes at the minute, and combo-ed with my fave hue, we're talking bingo bango bongo. Just add in a white tee and you could happily accompany the Kardashians to church next Easter. Catch you soon x
Slip-Ons- ASOS//Jeans- H&M//Print- Sealoe
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